Many women are in denial when they are with a control freak which is usually always abusive in some way. It is a dark secret that they do not often want to admit. However, most of their family and friends are quite aware of what is going on behind closed doors.
People stay in abusive relationships for several reasons. The number one reason is that frequently, he has control of the money; his and hers. Often she does not work, or if she does, the wages won't support her. This leaves her feeling powerless.
The start of a relationship that has some chemistry between two people can be exhilarating and they tend to be blinded by love. At first the, both are putting their best foot forward. However, as time goes by, it can be a rude awaking if you are with a control freak, especially because it happens slowly without awareness on the innocent person who will soon be affected by it.
They can be very seductive at first to lure you in. This is usually at the unconscious level, so, the control freak really doesn't realize there is a hidden agenda behind the behavior and neither does their victim. These types of relationships usually have an unusually "strong connection" during the infatuation stage because of the hidden problems fueling the attraction.
When a relationship is new, it is easy to "forgive" bad behavior and make excuses to others for it. This can range from caustic remarks, to put-downs, to immensely selfish behavior. Controllers must always be in charge and it is not so obvious in the beginning of the relationship.
Some of the red flags are:
- They contact you way too much anytime you are away from home
- They are overly possesive
- They want to know where you spent money
Dealing with a control freak in a love relationship is extremely difficult. It erodes your self esteem. You are always on guard, walking on egg shells, so you don't upset them. This is truly an unhealthy way to live. You know you can do better and you'd better make plans for yourself before it has gone past the point of no return.
We have all run into the control freak, but most of us can spot it right away; usually the minute they let you know how wrong you are in conversation. Fully functioning adults don't hang out with people who try to bring them down in any way. Experience has taught them it never, ever works out well.
People stay in abusive relationships for several reasons. The number one reason is that frequently, he has control of the money; his and hers. Often she does not work, or if she does, the wages won't support her. This leaves her feeling powerless.
The start of a relationship that has some chemistry between two people can be exhilarating and they tend to be blinded by love. At first the, both are putting their best foot forward. However, as time goes by, it can be a rude awaking if you are with a control freak, especially because it happens slowly without awareness on the innocent person who will soon be affected by it.
They can be very seductive at first to lure you in. This is usually at the unconscious level, so, the control freak really doesn't realize there is a hidden agenda behind the behavior and neither does their victim. These types of relationships usually have an unusually "strong connection" during the infatuation stage because of the hidden problems fueling the attraction.
When a relationship is new, it is easy to "forgive" bad behavior and make excuses to others for it. This can range from caustic remarks, to put-downs, to immensely selfish behavior. Controllers must always be in charge and it is not so obvious in the beginning of the relationship.
Some of the red flags are:
- They contact you way too much anytime you are away from home
- They are overly possesive
- They want to know where you spent money
Dealing with a control freak in a love relationship is extremely difficult. It erodes your self esteem. You are always on guard, walking on egg shells, so you don't upset them. This is truly an unhealthy way to live. You know you can do better and you'd better make plans for yourself before it has gone past the point of no return.
We have all run into the control freak, but most of us can spot it right away; usually the minute they let you know how wrong you are in conversation. Fully functioning adults don't hang out with people who try to bring them down in any way. Experience has taught them it never, ever works out well.
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